As the veil of Nyx falls over me,

I feel myself soar free

Grateful to that efficacious poison,

I sink into blessed oblivion

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They tug at his feet and bind his arms

They lie low, plotting and planning, a whole swarm

Dragging a weary body and a mind over which he has no command,

He is grateful to finally feel closing over him, quicksand

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Lost in the mountains high

I whisper to myself

This is the way to die

Lost in the desert dry

I tell myself

I shall not try

Lost on the seas high

I console myself

The end is nigh

If only, that elusive Happiness we could capture,

A special touch, a glance, that rapture..

And then bottle it up, a spirit so fine..

Ephemeral as perfume, as heady as wine..

So that, when the light no longer shines,

That dusty little bottle will still be mine..

That dusty little bottle will still be mine..

My beloved came back today.. It felt so good to gaze at him to my fill, to be with him, to chatter to him and laugh together.. I missed you so much, my beloved.. I wrote the poem above to let you know, I wish those moments we spent together would last forever.. Wish we were not so busy, wish our 'to do list' was not so long, wish we didn't have the pressures of thinking what will happen in the not so distant future, wish the time would stand still for just you and me.. I wish..

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I...

Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

- Coldplay

One of my favorite songs.. I sort of wallow in my misery while it lasts, which is never too long.. But I do tend to listen to Linkin Park, Evanescence and other songs like the one above when I'm feeling low.. Wonder what it is about these songs that comforts me..

Biochemistry..

Is killing me..

Boy, I'm gonna die..

A victim of the 'chemistry of life'..

Had my sessional exam today and after reading the lines above, do I even have to tell you that it was horrible.. The people who set the paper seemed to have vowed vengeance against us, for whatever reason.. Anyway, its over and done with now.. Though the fact that I haven't done too well is not letting me relax now..

I'm so much more distracted when I'm studying now than I ever used to be.. I have been with my beloved for over a year now and I'm still as crazy about him as I used to be.. Which is a good thing, except when it distracts me while studying.. But I can't help it.. I'm like a moth to the flame.. And the fact that he was going home today didn't help either.. I spent most of the time I was supposed to be studying in, moping and crying.. He's gonna be away for another week :( Its like God is testing my patience.. To see if this impatient Arien can wait for her love, her life.. I'll show you God.. I'll wait for him as long as it takes.. I'll have to get used to it anyway.. When the course ends, we'll have to stay apart for atleast 6 months if not longer.. All this experience will come in handy then..

Besides, both of us have to really tighten our shoelaces now.. The finals are approaching and if we wanna stay together, we need to work really, really hard.. I hope we make it..

Oh sweet love, thou winter's blossom white..
You keep me awake through the long winter's night
You are not a flame, as much as a glow
Though Spring is now long past, you continue to grow..
Dedicated to Acidcat

As long as people are falling in love, all is right with the world.. Nothing else on Earth can give you that special glow, that feeling of warmth, the reassurance that someone here on Earth will always think about you, care for you, look out for you and miss you when you are away. And certainly only another person who is in love can truly understand what you feel. In my case, I haven't found many who did. I've had a lot of people feel jealous of me of course and if I were the sort of person who revels in that, I would be happy. But I only want people to feel happy for me and wish good things for us.

Today, I'm very happy for you, my friend. I wish joy, more love, laughter and happiness to all the people in the world who are in love.. :)

काल करे सो आज कर
आज करे सो अब
पल में परलय होवेगी
बहुरि करेगा कब
Kabir

I was supposed to give a seminar on the major histocompatibilty complex today but due to n number of reasons, it has now been postponed by more than a week.. Feel so irritated to have work undone.. But hope it goes really well when I do it.. I have to start studying for the sessional exam now which is less than a week away..

My heart has long been familiar
But my eyes do long to see
Beloved, I know you are out there
When will you come find me?

And he did come find me, my beloved, my soulmate. When we began liking each other, we had been classmates for almost a year and yet, hadn't noticed each other until then (well, it was a huge class of a 112) Strange that we began to mutually get attracted to each other at the exact same time. Fate? Destiny? Whatever it was, it was however a clear case of opposites attracting. He is the quiet, shy, gentle type whereas I am loud, bold and aggressive. But somehow we connected to each other at some levels. We think alike a lot of times and have similar opinions of people and issues. We differ when it comes to the way we execute our ideas though and if we are working together, that does tend to cause a few tiffs. But hey, wouldn't life get a little too dull without a few bumps on the way?

My beloved has been away for a few days and won't be with me on my b'day. I miss him.. disagreements and all..

Away from my beloved..
So far away is he.. I am
Like a river that sprang forth from the mountains
But got lost in the desert,
Never to join the Sea..