Here is one of my latest.. Of late I can't fall asleep until around two in the morning.. Usually I spend the time browsing for jobs and admissions or chatting with my beloved but today, I wrote this..
She smelled so sweet, Jasmine white
When I plucked her in the twilight
I held her close all night long
Breathing in her scent, that was now so strong
I didn't want to let her go, even in the morn
By her side I wanted to begin every dawn
So I kept her between the leaves of an old book
But not before I stole at her, one last look
When I came back to her, it was too late though
One look at her and I was filled with sorrow
Jasmine white no longer, of her former self, just a shadow
Only a faint fragrance left behind, to remember her on the morrow
Afraid of losing her, I held on too tight
But she was not meant to be just mine, Jasmine white
I wrote this poem because as I was tossing and turning in bed at two in the morning, I had this strong mental image of a Jasmine that is plucked so that her scent may be enjoyed by only one whereas the flower wants to send its scent out to all, to be enjoyed by all.. I likened the flower to a girl because I know of girls who can be so much, do so much.. Yet they don't coz of their guys (who believe they have only the girl's 'best interests' at heart or maybe they are just insecure about a girlfriend who is more talented or popular than they are).. Indian girls in particular are always taught to put their husband's (no boyfriends accepted in here!!) wishes and needs before their own.. I'm so incredibly lucky and thankful to God that I have my beloved who not only supports all that I do, but also encourages me to be everything I have the potential to be.. :)
Coming back to my poetry, this is the way I usually write poems.. Inspired by some strong mental image.. But somehow I feel I could write better prose than poetry, inspired by these images.. Something I have been meaning to do for a long time now but never got around to.. One of my ambitions in life is to write a book some day.. I don't care if it turns out to be a textbook of Biochemistry.. I just wanna write a book..
Turns out there are no vacancies whatsoever in my university.. I had hoped to get a job close to home coz it would be easier to prepare for the PhD entrance exams I'm planning to take.. the reason why I haven't applied for jobs anywhere else.. I guess this means that I can concentrate better on my prep for the exams.. But I'm not really doing that either.. Not very seriously anyway.. The problem is, this feels like a vacation.. which is not right coz I've nothing to go back from vacation to.. I've really got to stop being so lazy and get serious about where I'm headed..
The Ph.D. student is a rare animal. A novel sub species whose habitat, hours of activity, sleeping patterns and most importantly, diet differs from the rest of the species. It is said that your are what you eat. So, what does that say about the humble grad student whose diet consists mainly of junk food, delicious as it is? This blog does not care because we strive to celebrate that very junk food.. The 2am noodles, the 3pm lunch of leftover pizza, the all day free food extravaganza that seminars are, the high calorie cookies at scientific talks.. every morsel of high fat, high carb deliciousness that sustains and nurtures us. So, send pictures of your Ph. D. diet with a description and time consumed to email@example.com and see it displayed here in all its unhealthy glory!