I'm back!

Last night, I realized with a sinking sensation in the pit of my stomach that this blog contained several poems that I hadn't written down anywhere else. This morning, after several frantic (completely unnecessary) Google searches and one simple action, I was able to recover my blog. As I looked at the familiar template and read through my old poems and posts, I realized that I loved this blog too much to give it up.. Just like I love my beloved too much to give him up.. We have fought in the past and 'broken up' but neither one of us has been able to last more than a night without talking to the other. What is this bond that binds us, my beloved and I? It is a bond that makes us call each other at exactly the same time, so that we often reach each other's voice mail. This happens too many times to be considered a co incidence. It is a bond which makes one anxious if the other is in trouble and makes us think like crazy about things that will make the other's life easier. In chemical terms, the bond between my beloved and I and this blog and I, is a covalent bond.. There is sharing and caring.. Strong attraction and a little bit of repulsion.. Which ultimately balance each other out and achieve- perfect equilibrium.

Vengeance against hair..

Today, I had an experience that is probably as rare as a white elephant- A painless wax.. In all my seven years (I tried to avoid the torture as long as I could) of going to beauty parlors and getting waxing done, I've never had one of those. Anything and everything that may go wrong during a waxing session has gone wrong during all of mine.. Scalding hot wax, wax that was not melted properly (resulting in scalding gobs of wax being applied to my body), inefficient staff or staff who were in a hurry and so brutally ripped my hair off with absolute disregard for my pain and discomfort.. You name it, I've suffered it..

Waxing however is not the only painful procedure we women undergo in order to get rid of excess hair.. Threading and plucking are painful too. Why do we do it? What drives us to inflict this pain upon ourselves? Is it the quest for approval of the opposite sex? I know that my beloved doesn't mind if I let myself go a little. He does prefer the version of me with well shaped eyebrows, clean underarms, waxed legs etc but doesn't throw a fit when things are less than perfect.. I know there are guys who are absolutely disgusted with even a little excess hair on their girl but since my beloved is not one of them why do I take the pain?

Because it makes me feel good after. With clean legs and underarms, I feel ready to wear any outfit I want and having unshaped eyebrows when I put on makeup for formal events.. Just makes me look like a sundae with no cherry on top.. Unfinished..

Image from here.

Another one..

A video that brought back more memories.. The day I fall in Love..

Revelation

I wanted my last post before I left to be about my favorite person in the whole, wide world :)

When I watched this clip someone had put up on Facebook, I thought 'How foolish of the little man and the little woman.. So naive to assume that we know anything, much less everything, about the opposite sex..' But then, the little man and woman are little still and hopefully, someday they will grow up to realize how little they know about the opposite sex..

I have been with my beloved for nearly three years now and every, single day I learn something new about him. Everyday, I admire him for something new, respect him for something different and yes, occasionally get irritated or angry with him for something new too but in spite of that, at the end of every day, without fail, I fall in love with him all over again♥♥ :)

Thwarted Quest

'How I met your mother' is one of my beloved's and my favorite shows.. Although our and almost everyone's favorite character is Barney, I do identify a lot with Ted.. Like Ted, I too am the hopeless romantic, the eternally optimistic one, the one who always believed she would have a great love story, a love story fit to be a Mills and Boons novel at the very least, if not Wuthering Heights..

And I'm lucky to have lived and to be living this fantasy of mine.. I didn't have to settle for Mills and Boons; I have my very own Heathcliff.. But before I found the man of dreams, I had to experience many false starts, shed so many tears, heave so many sighs (I now realize that all this would make a good novel too.. just not a romantic one) dream countless dreams about the knight in shining armor who never came.. until he did.. These poems are from that time in my life when I was waiting for the one..

I lie awake at the midnight hour when all the world sleeps

The hour at which the darkness of the night is most deep

Yet, the darkness pales in comparison to the one in my heart

My soul craves for a new dawn, a fresh, new start...

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The face of my beloved taunts me

It makes me want to tear out my heart

Because he knows I love him so

And I know he loves me not...

I wish.. Part 4

Samsung Corby Mate and TXT.. Two phones I would love to get my hands on right now.. They are cool, they are hip.. but more importantly, they fit within my budget.. My beloved has been promising to let me know which of these phones is a better buy technology wise.. I'm waiting for the Gadget Guru to make good on his promise.. The wise man may even advise me to buy a completely different phone altogether.. We'll just have to wait and watch, won't we? Do you have any suggestions for me? Please comment and follow :)

Serenity..

I was lucky enough to spend a few minutes at the riverside today.. The weather was cool and cloudy, the view was enchanting.. As I heard the waves lapping softly against the shore, I thought of my beloved and wished he was with me..

Shimme(ring)

This is the beautiful ring my beloved got for me on our very first Valentine's day and the pretty, red pouch it came in.. (The nail color is 'Tulip' by Lissome) It's has a round stone in the center with a raised setting and a Baguette stone and three tiny round stones on either side. And I want this exact same design for my engagement ring too.. No, I'm not about to be engaged but a girl can dream, can't she? :)

For the information of any lovely ladies reading this, here's a short guide to the cuts of diamonds from here.

Have you always known what kind of engagement or wedding ring you wanted? I would love to hear about it. Please comment and follow..

Horoscopes

I am a huge believer in Sun signs, horoscopes and the like.. Can you tell? ;) Anyway, I just read my horoscope for the month and for this week.. There were some really good things in there. Success in all endeavors for students and jobs on the cards for the unemployed.. I hope this is it.. The month I'll finally be able to update the 'Employer' status on facebook.

Horoscope wise, my beloved will not be doing so well this month though. I have noticed that either both of us have bad times at the same time or one of is having a bad time when the other is having good ones.. I wonder when we will both be able to enjoy the good times together..

First kiss

I was reading about Snaf's first kiss and was reminded of my own. My beloved is the only guy I've ever kissed and our first kiss was truly romantic and magical. It was on a pristine beach.. We were sitting on the sands, facing the setting sun.. To our right was a light house.. And I surprised him with a quick peck on the lips which then led to the actual kiss.. It was one of the most beautiful and enchanting days of my life.. The memory of which, I shall cherish for ever :)

15

Yes, it is a red letter day.. My beloved now has a job and can storm into my house anytime, announce to my dad, "I'm taking her away, away from your domination for ever." and whisk me away to a romantic villa by the sea where we can spend all of our days blissfully in each other's arms.. :D I know that's not likely to happen ever but wouldn't it be divine if it were.. (dreamy) sigh :) I'm such a hopeless romantic ;)

Pre- Valentine's Day

It is true that my beloved and I could not celebrate Valentine's Day but we did celebrate the pre- Valentine's Day. We exchanged cards, had lunch together and spent almost the whole day together. Funnily enough, last year too we couldn't celebrate the Day but had gone out and exchanged cards and gifts the previous day. If it happens again next year, we will make it a tradition to celebrate the previous day. Think of all the benefits-

1. Restaurants would be less crowded.
2. Flowers would be cheaper and
3. People wouldn't stare as much.

The pre- Valentine's Day. It could become a thing ;)

Valentine's Day

Guess what my beloved and I did this Valentine's? We wrote an exam together :D That's right. There was this entrance exam that both of us wanted to write, which is held on the second Sunday of Feb. every year and this year, that just happened to be Valentine's Day. So, we couldn't celebrate as such but since my beloved decided to take the motorcycle to the exam, we rode to the exam and back. He picked me up a little distance from my house (my parents don't know about us yet), we had breakfast on the way (which he paid for) and dropped me back after the exam. It felt nice to be taken care of. Don't get me wrong.. He always tries to take care of me but I don't usually let him. I am more of an independent sort of a girl; for example, even though we've been together for almost two years now, I still insist that we split the bill when we go to restaurants (which he doesn't agree to most of the times). But today, it just felt really good to be taken care of :)

The Good Boy..

So, my beloved had his practical exam today and among the possible combo of experiments that may be assigned, he got an easy one. He manged to breeze through all of them and could've gotten out of the lab early. But does he? No, he stays to help those less fortunate.. How sweet and thoughtful of him you may say.. but I won't 'cos the person he helped so doesn't deserve to be helped.. This person made my beloved's and my life hell in college and he is the most selfish, self- centered, irresponsible *@#**@# I have ever seen and yet my beloved helped him out. When I asked him, why on earth would he do that, he replied, 'I can't see another person in trouble and not do anything about it.'

That was so endearing and yet so maddening.. No wonder I adore that good boy of mine :D

Its been kind of hectic lately.. It began with going to Mangalore to get an application to a certificate course in teaching english for my sis.. And two days later, I had to go back to return the filled application.. 1.5 hours each way for two days in a bus, on really bad roads is no joke but I did survive the test of endurance.. What made the second trip bearable, even enjoyable though, was that my beloved accompanied me this time.. We had a fun day in the town with our usual movie and lunch date.. But that simple date is so special and magical, just because I'm with my beloved and we're in Mangalore.. I just love our Mangalore dates.. :)

After that, I had to begin preparing for my TOEFL exam scheduled for the 12th in a big hurry because like always, I'd put off prep until it was almost too late.. I had to go to Bangalore to give the exam.. A 13 hour long journey.. but thankfully, by car and completed over two days.. The exam went well I think, compared to the way I'd prepared.. The results come out in 15 days.. Waiting for exam results is a torture.. I have absolutely ZERO patience with that or anything else.. But wait I have to.. Sigh..

On the second day following my return from B'lore, that's today, I had my interview for the post of a Junior Research Fellow at MLSC.. I feel it went well and am almost certain I'll land the job.. Keeping my fingers crossed..

I know Valentine's is a long way off but I wrote a (very much) early Valentine's poem for my beloved.. It's kind of short though.. So I hope to add a few more verses by Valentine's :)

On Valentine's, I declare

I'm yours, Pooh Bear

Your's for eternity, I vow

Forever your's, my love..

Lunch and a movie..

I know the classic date is dinner and a movie but since my beloved and I are sort of in a secret relationship, we have to make do with lunch and a movie.. Though we've done this 'n' number of times, for some reason that I can't describe, today was special.. I felt much more loved and cherished than usual today, which is saying something, cos my beloved always makes me feel special when I'm with him..

Good times.. I've had plenty of those with my beloved.. Which goes to prove that it's not the times that are good but the companion :)

He's back.. We spent the most glorious day together.. And talked about those final few steps we need to take that will lead us to a PhD.. Can't wait to get there :)

Lonely

Another Monday has come and gone

My beloved is not yet home

Another week wait I must

Forever with waiting is my life to be cursed?

My beloved has gone home.. I feel so empty when he's not here..

Poetry or Prose?

Here is one of my latest.. Of late I can't fall asleep until around two in the morning.. Usually I spend the time browsing for jobs and admissions or chatting with my beloved but today, I wrote this..

She smelled so sweet, Jasmine white

When I plucked her in the twilight

I held her close all night long

Breathing in her scent, that was now so strong

I didn't want to let her go, even in the morn

By her side I wanted to begin every dawn

So I kept her between the leaves of an old book

But not before I stole at her, one last look

When I came back to her, it was too late though

One look at her and I was filled with sorrow

Jasmine white no longer, of her former self, just a shadow

Only a faint fragrance left behind, to remember her on the morrow

Afraid of losing her, I held on too tight

But she was not meant to be just mine, Jasmine white

I wrote this poem because as I was tossing and turning in bed at two in the morning, I had this strong mental image of a Jasmine that is plucked so that her scent may be enjoyed by only one whereas the flower wants to send its scent out to all, to be enjoyed by all.. I likened the flower to a girl because I know of girls who can be so much, do so much.. Yet they don't coz of their guys (who believe they have only the girl's 'best interests' at heart or maybe they are just insecure about a girlfriend who is more talented or popular than they are).. Indian girls in particular are always taught to put their husband's (no boyfriends accepted in here!!) wishes and needs before their own.. I'm so incredibly lucky and thankful to God that I have my beloved who not only supports all that I do, but also encourages me to be everything I have the potential to be.. :)

Coming back to my poetry, this is the way I usually write poems.. Inspired by some strong mental image.. But somehow I feel I could write better prose than poetry, inspired by these images.. Something I have been meaning to do for a long time now but never got around to.. One of my ambitions in life is to write a book some day.. I don't care if it turns out to be a textbook of Biochemistry.. I just wanna write a book..